| you only die twice. |
[16 Oct 2010|09:21pm] |
I'M RUNNING OFF INTO THE SUNSET TO JOIN THE CIRCUS/PURSUE A LIFE OF SOLID LEGALITY/JOIN A BOY BAND/FOLLOW MY HEALING FACTOR BROS TO CANADA
----Oh wait, no I'm not. You guys are stuck with me. And my head is even more scrambled than it used to be, but I promise I'm getting help! Soon, I will be a healthy, contributing member of normal society!!! :']
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| deadpool & attempted catharsis. |
[06 Aug 2010|12:24am] |
Does the hotel have a copy of The Matrix? It's been coming up pretty often in my general pop culture repertoire and I just came to the horrific realisation that SOMEONE here hasn't seen it. (Which is a penalty punishable by extreme bodily harm, if you're familiar with DP's Book o' Rules, Fun, and Frolic.)
( Madeline. )
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| still in recovery. |
[17 Jul 2010|09:00pm] |
45 Interesting Ways to Write a Paper. The fact that all of these sound like totally viable options to me is PROOOOBABLY why I never went to college. Hell, I barely graduated high school.
But hey, at least my papers would be a blast!!!
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| ... |
[06 Jul 2010|11:18pm] |
Hi, I'm b
Honey, I'm hoooome
Soooo, cool story bro, I was tortured and all I got was this lousy t-sh
These shenanigans are a pretty great present, though.
I don't even know what to say about this. Where do I start. Are you guys enjoying your new genderfu
Wah wah wah I have a new [dick/vagina] my life is so [shitty/awesome]. Your hysteria is really, really making me want to stab someth
Why didn't I get turned, I would've made a superhot chick.
Weirdly enough, I don't actually have anything to say. I must be coming down with something. New guys: don't get sexually assaulted, new girls: don't chafe? fffff
( Private to Bobby, John, Inez, + Madeline. )
( Private to Landa. )
( Private to Remy. )
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| texts from last night, version: w. wilson. |
[11 Jun 2010|06:51am] |
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---Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
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| deadpool respects authority. |
[31 May 2010|04:41pm] |
Sooooooo does this mean I'm/we're no longer grounded and can stay out past curfew, mommy? Daddy?
You know what this means, kiddos: DEADPOOL'S SPARRING IS OPEN FOR BUSINESS ONCE AGAIN! Angelica's on my karate/judo/stabby dance card so far, but I'm still open for more customers. Call 1-800-HOW-TO-BE-A-BAMF. xoxoxo
P.S.: I've come up with a stellar new way to stop people from getting kidnapped. Lemme contemplate in my evil lair for a bit and I'll get back to you on that.
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| deadpool is not good at being welcoming. |
[03 May 2010|03:28pm] |
You know, while doing my friendly neighbourhood greets on the journal network today, I just realised that we don't cut a very inspiring first impression. What a whackadoodle crazy year it's been, huh, kids?? We overcome and surpass trials and tribulations in order to emerge better, changed people, and closer than ever before~
And okay, on the bright side: despite the fancy digs and the overly-gorgeous-charming management, at least we're not a creepy nefarious Dollhouse-esque organisation. But man, it still ain't easy being a mutie~~
[UNPOSTED PICTURE.]
Too soon? Yeaaahhh too soon.
[POSTED.]
 
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| deadpool doesn't sleep in his own refuse anymore. |
[27 Apr 2010|01:59am] |
IN TODAY'S INSTALMENT OF UNCLE WADE'S HANDY-DANDY HELPFUL LINKS
Pro-tip for all you kids considering college dorms in the fall! Novel ways to deodorize a trash pile.
I mean, not that I'm the paragon of Martha Stewart's domestic cleanliness or anything. But I have to say, my hovel Deadshack's gotten a lot better over the past year. I've upgraded from pizza boxes to real plates (!!!). SURPRISE. Maybe someday I'll finally entertain. Throw a house-burning party or something.
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| wade can't do it on his own. |
[07 Mar 2010|09:39pm] |
Oh my sweet little tatertots, where do I even BEGIN--
+ No earthquake. Thank you, Rictor!
+ DOOGIE HOWSER SONG'N'DANCE
+ Alec Baldwin: I salute you, sir.
+ HANS LANDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
+ Did Zoe Saldana almost flash me? I think she did.
---- Miley Cyrus, raise your neckline immediately, MY DELICATE SENSIBILITIES ARE OFFENDED
+ Duh of course Up! won best animated. It made me cry, ladies and gents. Just think on that for a while.
+ paranormal activity spoof a plus.
+ BEN STILLER, MAY I BECOME YOU WHEN I GROW UP
+ double snuggies SOMEONE BUY ME A GODDAMN DOUBLE SNUGGIE, I NEED IT POST HASTE
+ The salute to horror warms the cockles of my frigid, bloody heart. Twilight children on-stage: notsomuch.
+ dude, dude, The Dude, THE DUDE
----- Sandra Bullock? While You Were Sleeping Sandra Bullock? Miss Congeniality Sandra Bullock? The Proposal Sandra Bullock! All About Steve Sandra Bullock? NO why couldn't it be my ladies Helen or Meryl :(
+ :)
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| making a list, checking it twice. |
[14 Feb 2010|07:44pm] |
( PRIVATE. )
( JOHN. )
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| come back baby come back. |
[12 Feb 2010|09:06pm] |
heeeeeeeeeeeeere's WADEY!!!
no that's not right
HONEY, I'M HOOOOOOME!
Did you all miss me? I bet you did. And whaddaya know, I'm back in the neighbourhood just in time to swell with national pride. I've got my eye on you, Team Canada. If you don't impress, Uncle Wade might have to put on his business suit again.
Just sayin'.
Anyway. Sup.
...No really. What has been up. I've been working abroad, guys, you can't expect me to stay abreast of every last little development back here. Who's dating who? Who's punching who in the face? I demand updates, peons!!
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| deadpool sounds off, one two! |
[10 Dec 2009|12:53am] |
[THE MERCETTES: BEA, VANESSA, INEZ, LIL.]
SHOTGUN!!!!!
[MADELINE.]
I just realised that I don't have your phone number.
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| deadpool is feeling festive. |
[29 Nov 2009|03:54am] |
Mistletoe!
Mistletoe!!
This is like that episode in
I feel like arts'n'crafts week. So I'm going to build myself an intricate headdress. It's going to be fantastic, you're all going to love it. Did I mention that its main ingredient is mistletoe?
PS: I demolished that turducken, so John, I think you owe me $50. Or maybe you owe Remy $50. Now that I think about it, I'm not too sure how this gambling works. Poker is where my glorious expertise runs out.
OH WAIT, except that I do play a mean game of Dudo. And Daihinmin.
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| deadpool's miscellany, vol. 29. |
[12 Nov 2009|10:45pm] |
Why are clothes so itchy?
What does a man do with a sexy nurse's outfit that he isn't using anymore?
How much do you bet I can eat an entire turducken by myself?
I'm Canadian. I've already celebrated Thanksgiving.
Why wasn't I allowed to be a prince, goddamnit?
Life should be more like Ghostbusters and/or Scooby Doo more often. It's just a fact, dudettes.
If I attended Theresa's mutant alliance group club thingie, do you think I'd permanently ruin human/mutant relationships? I think I would.
Do you think I need a PR manager?
Then again, I pretty much make do with a really, really, really, really good dry cleaner.
PS. The catheter look was really really not flattering on you all. I'm so glad you went for the style upgrade. :]
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| deadpool is wary. |
[01 Oct 2009|11:57am] |
Power loss at the hotel?
Hoo boy, in that case I am staying way the hell away. Someone would probably take the opportunity to stab me in the face, and I don't know about you, but I'm only cool with seeing my insides if I know I can grow them back. Oh, plus: cancer. Talk about unfortunate symptoms.
So forgeddaboudit. I'll get back to listening to my new favorite album. And sunbathing. And scaring the tourists. In the meantime, consider yourselves officially Deadpool-Free™.
AND NO, HOTEL FUGEES, YOU CAN'T COME TO MY PLACE
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